I don’t think weather is small talk. Not up here. Not when we’re having big weather, and this stinking heat wave is giving everyone on the North Shore something to mutter about while standing in front of the freezer. I keep thinking I could become a Jeff Foxworthy style comedian, but only for people who know what a sauna feels like when it’s not supposed to be running.
• It’s so hot, I went for a drive in my Jeep with the doors on and the windows up just to cool down.
• It’s so hot, the deer flies asked if I had any ice cubes for their Bloody Mary.
• It’s so hot, the Lake Superior agates said they’d prefer to be sediment again.
• It’s so hot, even the mosquitoes said: “You know what, never mind.”
Don’t worry. I won’t quit my day job. Or my side gig. But you don’t need a comedian or a weather man to know it’s been too hot for comfort.
Northern Minnesota has been sitting under the center of a massive heat dome, the hottest air blowing straight into our region. Meteorologists reported highs in far northern Minnesota hitting 98 to 100 degrees on July 13, likely record-breaking for some spots. In the Twin Cities, the official high was 93, which is nine degrees above normal for this date, though still short of the 105-degree record set in 1936.
Up here, it’s been the kind of heat where you open the door and immediately reconsider your life choices. The kind where the trailheads smell like sunscreen, bug spray, and regret.
So, if we’re going to survive this stretch, here are a few practical North Shore tips for staying cool and safe in the heat outdoors.
• Start hikes early – Before 9 a.m. if you can. The heat index in northern Minnesota has been reaching 95 to 110 degrees in the afternoons.
• Freeze your water bottles – One for drinking, one for pressing against your neck like you’re in a dramatic movie scene.
• Check on your pets – Loki-level stubborn dogs will pretend they’re fine until they’re not.
• Skip the big climbs – Anything with exposed rock will cook you like a pasty.
• Don’t trust the lake breeze – It’s been hot enough that even Superior is shrugging.
• Watch fire conditions – Red flag warnings have been posted in northern Minnesota and fires continue in the BWCA.
We’ll cool down eventually. Until then, stay hydrated, stay shaded, and if you need to stand in front of the freezer for a minute, I won’t judge.
