By Dean Rudloff
The Lake County Mental Health Task Force
The North Shore Mental Health Group
If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, talking with them can be the difference in getting them the help they need.
Talking to a loved one about their mental health need not be an uncomfortable undertaking yet, it often is. Unlike a physical ailment, a mental ailment carries a stigma of societal resentment that comes from our lack of understanding it. It may be daunting or just plain awkward to bring yourself to talk to someone about their mental well-being, but it is one of the best ways to be of help, especially in regard to suicidal thoughts and prevention. A simple “take action” way to have a conversation with someone who may be suicidal is to follow the five (5) action steps from #BeThe1To (https://www.bethe1to.com/).
Step 1: ASK… “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking openly and directly shows that you’re willing to discuss suicide in a nonjudgmental and supportive manner. Asking also provides you with the opportunity to listen. Listen to their reasons for their emotional pain and hurt. In doing so, help them focus on THEIR reasons for living.
Step 2: BE THERE… Being physically present or speaking with them on the phone, or showing up in any other way, demonstrates support for a person at risk. As the opportunity permits, talk with them to develop ideas on who else might be able to help and how they might support. And how does this help? Increasing someone’s connectedness to others and limiting their isolation has been shown to be a protective factor against suicide and self-harm.
Step 3: HELP KEEP THEM SAFE… After the “Ask” step, and you’ve determined suicide is indeed being considered, it is important to find out a few things to establish their immediate safety. The first question will be to ensure that they have not done something already to hurt themselves. Secondly, you will want to ask them if they have a plan and a way to die by suicide. Knowing the answers to each of these questions can inform you as to the imminence and severity of danger the person is in. All thoughts about suicide must be taken seriously. If you believe the risk of suicide is imminent, call 988 or 911 immediately! All in all, the goal is to prevent suicidal thoughts and self-harm actions while assuring the person that they are not alone and that you are there to support them.
Step 4: HELP THEM CONNECT… If the person mentions vague suicidal thoughts, the person is still at risk. One way to “connect” is to work with the individual on developing a Safety Plan (https://www.samhsa.gov/resource/988/safety-plan). Such a plan is designed to carefully and caringly guide the person through a crisis with the goal of keeping them safe and getting them help. Connected people are significantly less likely to feel depressed, overwhelmed, and suicidal while also feeling more hopeful.
Step 5: FOLLOW UP… Make sure to follow up with them to see how they’re doing. Make a personal visit, write a note, send a text, or give them a call. This is a great way to see if there is anything else that you can do to support them. This type of contact can continue to increase their feelings of connectedness and your ongoing support. Yes, there is evidence that even a simple form of reaching out, like sending a caring postcard, can potentially reduce their risk for suicide.
Talking with someone about their thoughts and feelings can save a life. If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help that they need. A list of local Providers is found at www.co.lake.mn.us/health-and-human-services/support-guide-3/mental-health. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in need of emotional and mental health support. You can also text: “MN” to 741741 or phone 844.772.4724 from your phone. Lifeline centers operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
